What are you calling into your life? (Part 1)
The places we live, the people we meet - every element is in your life for a very specific reason. Do you know what that is?
My husband and I are very different people. (Thank goodness!)
I grew up in the midwest where passivity and politeness reign supreme. I am highly sensitive to other people, empathetic and concerned with how they may react to my ideas or point of view. For many years, I actually projected my own sensitivity onto others and expected that they would react in a situation the same way I might.
As a result, I held myself back, didn't speak up or didn't articulate myself as clearly as I could have for fear of making waves or - heaven forbid - hurting someone else's feelings.
By doing this, I was actually hurting myself.
The lump in my throat whenever I got choked up or didn't say what's in my heart -- my body was speaking to me and encouraging me to honor myself.
More than that, I actually got diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis, which I now recognize as a direct manifestation of not being willing to verbally express myself.
By failing to step into my power and express myself fully, I was holding myself back and stunting my own growth - and, by extension, the growth of those around me.
One of my role models in breaking this habit was my husband. It is no mistake that I chose as my life partner someone who is directly opposite in this regard.
He is direct. He is clear cut. He is also very sensitive but he is not worried about hurting people's feelings by expressing his true thoughts or feelings. He sees the value in being clear and honoring his intentions in how he interacts with others. Other people respect this quality about him -- and so do I.
Don't get me wrong - sometimes this frustrates me! I have cringed at the things he says or how bluntly he delivers things. But over time, I realized this is a special quality I need more of in my own life.
When I moved to Philadelphia, I realized it was also here to encourage me to speak up. People in Philly are direct. They are clear and do not beat around the bush. As much as in the midwest, people are so nice that you may not know where you stand, I came to see it as a badge of honor to win someone over in Philly -- because they don't like you just by default.
Now, in the Netherlands, the culture is similar. The Dutch have a reputation for being blunt and direct. They do not mince words or prioritize social niceties over clarity. I may have been caught off guard by this in the past, but now I realize that, as Brene Brown says, "Clear is kind."
I have called these people and these places into my life for a very specific reason, to master a very important lesson.
Being able to clearly express oneself saves time, energy and promotes authenticity.
We all deserve to say what is on our minds and in our hearts.
We can be nice and still be honest, clear and direct. In fact, it is actually the nicest thing we can do.
As I look back on my life, I now see part of my transformation and journey is just learning to listen to my own intuition and express myself fully.
To step away from the shoulds and the fear of judgement and step into my own light, purpose and power.
To stop using my fear of offending someone as an excuse to hide and start prioritizing not hurting myself by holding back.
We are given the tools, the resources, the friends, the places we need to advance on the soul purpose we've chosen for ourselves. But it is up to us to reflect and to come into alignment with what we're experiencing in our lives and accept how this has been called in to help shape us.
It turns out we call in exactly what we need to learn the lessons we are meant to learn. And we will continue to call it into our lives in different formats until we realize and accept the lesson fully.
Sometimes, this acceptance and mastery takes a lifetime. And that's okay. Our soul is here to flourish and deeply experience the growth it set out to foster.
So relax into that journey, take a look around, and start piecing the clues together.
The universe is speaking to you. Are you listening?